it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
