After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
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