can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
