i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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