Small penises have feelings too.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
