So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
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Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
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Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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