Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Randomize
