found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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