Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Randomize
