My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Man, jail baloney is awful.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
