I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
