threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Randomize