I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
