Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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