He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
