I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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