After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize