Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
