I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
