so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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