Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
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Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
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And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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