ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
