Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
