i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
