There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I love having hate sex.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
