it wasn't lemon gatorade
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
