she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
