I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
