well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
