Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
