Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
