i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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