M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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