bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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