dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
