some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Randomize
