How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
