Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
