I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
