The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
