It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
