the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
