That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
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It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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