I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
