No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
