I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
