Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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