She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
