Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Randomize
