you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
