i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
