Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
