i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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