shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
