I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
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