don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
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