I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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