im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
