oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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