$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
vagina is talking i cant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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