id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
