Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Dear god my vagina.
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