Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize