we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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