It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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