dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
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