I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Randomize
